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I went on a vacation years ago with one of my closest friends and her friends.

On a night on the town, I was drugged and ended up being fondled and kissed by a man my group had met earlier in the day at a bar.

It's probably no surprise that my ideal type looks like this: I could go on and on.

That's an attraction dynamic I'm not even going to touch, easily observable.

The more friendly and matter-of-fact you are about sticking to the original plans you made, the less drama there will be in the way the friendship plays out.

That's the old I'm-not-a-racist-but-everyone-else-is dodge. I mean, you've had over 20 years with the guy; I find it hard to believe there's been no indication this was coming.

Her friends have strongly denounced her as being racist.

Of course, Hax agreed that she was being racist and chided her.

Want Tell Me About It delivered to your inbox for free on weekdays? — Or you can be pleasantly immovable and say, “Sorry, Tuesday is the only day that works for me.

Let me know if you change your mind and want to stick to our original plans.” That way you set out the terms upon which you’re willing to stay friends, and she either meets them or doesn’t.

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